When Is Enough Enough?

That is what I am asking myself this morning, after 2 months of fighting to get my websites up and running. It isn't the problem of getting them up and running. The problem IMO is that I am trying to install a software that I have no clue as to work. I have tried over and over again. OMG it is so much like I have yet another addiction that I must work on somehow. The question is, Am I willing to let this go? NO!

I absolutely love this software that I am trying to install and I believe that it could be a wonderful thing for everyone. There is so much to do with it, you have live web chat, profiles customization, blogs, forums, articles, shopping cart, and everything else with it. So what exactly does this have to do with the disease of addiction? EVERYTHING!

I know from a lot of experience that it isn't the drink or the drug. Although staying away from those things does help. But the disease of addiction as we all know or if we don't...it centers in the mind. It says in the AA Big Book for instance that Selfishness and Self-Centeredness is the root of our problems. That being the case of course I am in the disease of addiction cause I want this so bad. However this might not be the best thing that is for me at the present time. Maybe I need to take a different approach as to what is happening really deep within myself.

I am just coming back from a using trip that about took my life. I was so deep into it that I wanted to actually kill myself for a while and than those thoughts turned into homicidal thoughts which isn't good at all. I am sure and almost positive that if somethings would have happened in certain cases that I could have ended up killing someone or myself. Thank God that I am not there today.

So when is enough enough? When we finally get sick and tired of where we are.

Thanks for allowing me to share.